Sunday, 28 September 2008

First Impressions (Of the best time ever)

In the way that a prehistoric animal might peek its head out of the putrid primordial ooze, blinking in the harsh sun, I have risen up from the teachings of many a large, totemic mystic* to grace a university with my presence. And again, like the humble sea slug from which all life is descended, the first question on my mind, on any one's mind in this sort of situation, "What, dear world, can I eat."

Of course, for starers, I sampled the wide range of culinary delights that came from the back of a moped. Pizza supplied by a caveman, with the term "personal" apparently meaning "leftovers". A fact that I would have no quarrel with, were it not for the fact that the main ingredient seems to be LSD. Yes my friends, Lucy in the sky with diamonds. That's why it tastes so good. Its batter, cheese, tomato paste and nothing more than a little LSD. That's why you're tasting delights. Anyway, the main concern from leaving home has been the incredible over-abundance of adverts. I have enough to cover my wall. Which would be good if my subjects were the absolute luxury of fast food, but its not.

Its not helpful at all. Mainly a hindrance. About half way through, if you were observant, you may have discovered that I was typing drunk. I did this because I am a student, and because, for the sake of journalism, i decided to show the authentic experience. This is, primarily, being legless, and making jokes which aren't funny. This isn't me. This is a carefree student. Who can't wait to be drunk, and considers time not drunk, as time wasted.

Oh wait.

I guess that is me.

I am an idiot student.

I mean...carefree student.

I am...I am ashamed.

Well you know, We all want to change the world


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